Humbled

I thought I was pretty darn good when it come to computers, software, all that stuff.  I did something today that killed Windows - no video conference with Carolyn this evening, just a couple of email exchanges.  I've spent hours trying to remedy the problem.  I shut down firewalls, checked ports, cleared cookies, had a scotch, drank some V8 juice, did the hot tub - yelled out loud a couple of times - rebooted a dozen times - reinstalled the program - did everything all the troubleshooting stuff told me to do - and still, nothing.it is very, very humbling.  I guess, tomorrow, i'll try chatting with someone that can help me trouble shoot.....

On another subject, a beautiful moon tonight, I'll go take a picture and post it!  Well, maybe you need to be right here... its awesome.  The vastness of all of this is very humbling as well.  There are a lot of humbling things when I think about it.

Anyway, it is close to nighty night time (yes, I made up the one word).  So for today those are my thoughts.  Tomorrow brings its new adventures!

A Closer Look

If you look really close - Just above the upper left edge of the mirror you see HoJac Acres or Ranch... you can see 3 small trees just to the left of the house.  This is where I've been staying the last few weeks.  It has been great, but I'll be happy to be back home with Carolyn.  This trip has been great, not just for the solitude and peacefulness, but because I've been able to spend quality time with folks and family that I don't get to spend a lot of time with.  Jacque, Howard, and I will meet up 1/2 way between here and Denver sometime next week.  The next day I'll be back home.  I'm thankful for the time that I've had here.  I am very appreciative, as is my family, that Carolyn so generously shared me with them for this long period of time.

I will carry great memories back home with me.  I will have those forever.  As much as I've enjoyed it here, it will be good to be back with my Carolyn.

What, No Ramblings

I just don't have anything to say!

What, No Ramblings

I just don't have anything to say!

What Day is It

I'm not sure I ever know anymore - I know it is 84 or 85 days before we head North to Canada again...  it's about 9 days before I head back to Colorado...  that's my grandson Wolfgang with his big fish of our 2008 trip.  I'm hoping brother Mike and his wife Vicki go with us this year.

I'm pretty sure we (Carolyn and I) will be taking Buddha and Katie. It would be a grand time if they came.

I'm tired.  I've been watching some of the Olympics.  I didn't sleep too long last night - checked up on Chuck and the rest of the ducks this morning.  They are fine.

I actually ate Cheerios for Supper tonight - 3 bowls.  My blood sugar is high.. I think I need to watch what I eat better than I'm doing right now.
Tomorrow, the 26th is the anniversary of dad's passing.  I think of him often - mom mentioned the other day that as this time gets closer, it is harder for her.  I'll be having lunch with her and Lewis tomorrow.  So it is also the day before that anniversary, a day for reflection - a day when past moments may have more meaning than the present moment -- a tougher time to be in this moment - but to reflect on many of the beautiful moments we had with dad -- and fishing was one of his favorite ways of spending his time.  He took us all fishing at one time or another - and instilled in us a love for the outdoors and the gifts it has to offer.  Thanks Dad.

When I'm Alone

Time- who cares right now!  I think when I'm alone I find myself talking out loud.  Who the heck am I talking too?  Well, I guess I'm talking to  my other "me".  Not my "mini-me", just me other me.  I'm not sure whether if it's healthy - but I don't care.  Maybe it is just to assure me that I am.  Like that Shakespearian quote "to be, or not to be".  It's the only Shakespearian quote I can remember - Mrs. Scherer would be so disappointed. I'm in the moment trying to de-spiral a spiral bound album - I need to put the spiral back (re-spiral) it later.  Interesting task. Well, not much to say today, to worn out talking to myself - it was a great philosophical discussion.  And, no picture either.  Sometimes there is just nothing more to say.  Have a wonderful evening (if you read this tonight or tomorrow - it doesn't make a bit of difference, the greeting still applies - no matter when you read this - see, I can't stop myself) Lanny stop, stop - go be in the moment!  You too my friends!

It Is all Around Us!

6 AM -- It's early, It's dark, I missed the choppers, the coffee tastes good, putting my shopping list together because I'm headed for the big city this morning - Des Moines - and then to Oskaloosa to have an original MaidRite - and visit sister Sharon.  I talked to brother Lewis already and he described the model he wants me to get him - not many stores sell models anymore - so it might be a bit of a treasure hunt - looking forward to each and every moment of it!

6:53AM -- Fresh rabbit tracks outside - the frost on the trees is stunning.  On the drive home last night - even though Patti had warned me -- a deer darted in front of me, thank God for ABS.  It was close -- good thing I was taking it easy or the new car would have had some decoration.  I hope to get along that road at dusk. Lana and Patti both told me I'd likely see lots of deer and some wild turkeys.  I haven't seen wild turkeys since the Red Wood forests in California.  I want to get some pictures of snow drifts today, they can be awesome in their beauty.  Have a great day - I'll write more later.

9:36 PM - Well I got everything I went to get.  The model was more than an adventure, but finally found some - those little plastic kits have really gone up in price.  I was shocked.  But then, what hasn't gone up in price.   I left Des Moines and went down to Terrible's at Osceola - had a fabulous Iowa Tenderloin sandwich done to absolute perfection - the tenderloin was about 3 times bigger than the bun as advertised - best I've had in 30 years - I should've taken a picture.  I slipped into the casino - tried two machines, doubled my money on the second one and split for Oskaloosa - I think I was in the Casino for less than twenty minutes.

The road to Oskie was absolutely harrowing - snow and ice patches all the way - strong wind with blowing snow,  I'm staying off the roads tomorrow if I can at all help it and I can.  Talk about being in the moment - it was a steering wheel gripping experience -- so took longer than I expected -- but I still met Sharon and Danny on time.  We had some excellent Maid-Rites and good conversation.  The trip back to Monte was slow - same road conditions and much darker - not what I would call fun.  But having met all my goals and experienced the fun and friendship of the day, it was fantastic!

Please take care - drive safely - love each and every moment that you have.  Oh yes, adventure "is all around us" - we are it!

So I was late, it wouldn't be the first time!

7:07 AM - We did not get the snow - only about 2".  The hot tub was nice and hot last night.  I did good in the NASCAR fantasy standings... dropped from first to 3rd in our group - but that isn't bad for a novice - and two of my choices didn't make the race.  I was too late to do anything about it.  I don't get to shovel this morning, we didn't get enough snow.  I have a fairly busy social schedule - I want to go see Mum and Lewis -- the brother Mike, then sister Lana. I did some of my breathing exercises this morning - they are very invigorating - providing a nice kick off to living in the moment.  Later.
9:45PM -- this is a photo of one of the houses we lived in when I was still a Montezuman.  Its a corner lot.  I loved the trees.  I have another picture from the front - that tree is really tall.  I wasn't in this house to many years, but it is where I graduated from high school - left for college, came back home for awhile, and then left for the Air Force.  My family sold this house later and built a brand new one.

I had supper with my sister and her significant other this evening.  Corned beef and cabbage.  It was very good - I told Carolyn later that I thought I didn't like CBC - but this stuff was really, really good - maybe it was because the cabbage wasn't overcooked, canned, or otherwise stinky. Yum, I can't wait for St. Patrick's day now.

I think the snow in the picture is so beautiful, I'm going to tray and get some pictures of some spectacular drifts tomorrow.  What a great day -- time with mum Lewis, Mike, Vicki, Patti, Margi and myself - it doesn't get much better - Oh, but it did --- I also got to video conference with Carolyn -- Ain't it great!

Another Day - Another...(Written on Sunday, Posted on Monday)

12:45 PM  Well, another opportunity to be all I can be.  Few thoughts have crossed my mind - it has been a very mellow sort of day.  We were supposed to get 12" of snow last night, it didn't happen.  I'll call Mum in the morning and see if she wants to go shopping or anything.  I'm still enjoying this "retreat".  I think that is what it really is.. a retreat for both Carolyn and I.  I do believe it emphasizes that we need another vehicle besides the pick-up.  Something that gets far better gas mileage for just getting around the town.  Carolyn says the pickup is a curse.  Everyone wants to use it - but few are willing to put the gasoline in it.  I'm going to watch "Drunken Monkey" -it's one of those kungfu movies I like so much.  I don't know why, it's just fun to watch!

Next Day -  well that's it I wrapped it and didn't know I wrapped it... so, on to the next Moment.

Dinning Out

What is today all about - I don't ever seem to be bored and I certainly don't need to be occupied.  I can sit in a nice comfortable chair and be zonked out in less than 10 minutes.  Or, I can go outside and shovel snow for an hour and have just as much fun.  Well, I know this is not very substantive - I've been playing Mafia Wars -- It does get a bit addicting, but I think I've learned how to limit the time I spend doing that.


I also downloaded something Vicki plays and finally got it to work.  It is a whole lot of fun and yet gets boring at times -- I think she said it does.  The key though, for me, is that I got the game working.  If you like slots you would like the game and the best part is you get  just about the same kick without spending any actual money -- some wouldn't.


I'm headed to Lana's place to enjoy some squirrel - not watching, eating.  Hmmm - I don't suppose the animal rights folks would appreciate a picture of one of those cute buggers in this blog and then me saying I ate one or two of 'em. Might just do it though - would that be considered sarcasm or irony - irony I think.  


Well I'm going to go enjoy some more of my precious moments -- and I don't mean those dolls.


Post Script:

The squirrel and noodle casserole was excellent.  My sister assured me these were not those domesticated town squirrels, but the wild vicious squirrels that hang out in the deep dark forest. And no, they do not taste like chicken and their bones are a whole lot smaller.  I even got to bring some leftovers back to HoJac Acres.  Yum.  Oh, and the Northern Pink fried strips were outstanding.


This is a picture of a fairly domesticated squirrel - we don't eat these guys = we are entertained by their antics.

One

One is never sure why one gets up as early or as late as one does - today is early - too early by Colorado time, but okay by Iowa time, but still....  Ah well one must enjoy those extra moments that one gets -- to do whatever they want with -- I choose to enjoy!

• A song - One is the loneliest number
• A movie - Jet Li's One - also 1 of my favorites
• Potato Chips - One is never enough
• The last straw - One too many
• Count down - Three, Two, One
• Everything - I'll take One of everything
• Books -- I'm just about finished hon - One more paragraph, page, chapter
• Kinds -- One of a kind

Ah, there are a million of them, or maybe a million and One. Like today is One of those dust where just want to be totally alone.  Oh my gosh, it's snowing again -- I mean it is really snowing, not a blizzard though.  Of course, speaking of One get a load of the number One duck.  I guess you would call him the alpha drake, top duck, numero uno.  I'd just put the food in the hut -- this dude was the first one on shore! Now, I need to go get that plant revived!

Photos Are Important for Us Right Brainers

8:05 AM.  This is the view from Mike and Vicki's second story deck.  This is where he barbecued last night - ahh red meat - rare (and rare) but when I'm on vacation or in Iowa - I have some.  It is a gorgeous view.  Can you tell this was shot through a screen - of course you can.  I forgot something and i'm going to have to ask Carolyn to send it.  what the heck - I'll ask her to send it in care of mom that way I know I'll get it for sure.

The title isn't cryptic.  I looked at a few of the blogs that didn't have pictures -- just not the same.  I'm not sure how important the subject matter of the picture is -- it just sort of makes the whole thing come to life.  For now I'm off to be in the present moment, maybe do a little Tai Chi -- that always exhilarates -- gives me a rush of sensation -- awesome!

8:17PM -- Windows 7 Install -- helped my little brother out today - it was a job a friend said was quick, seamless, easy.... 7 1/2 hours it took us on a pretty new HP Desktop.  Arggggggg.  I have to say it all worked very well - until the reinstallation of the anti-virus package.  Word of advice - don't reinstall the original package unless you know it is W7 compatible -- I had a day that was, well very social - met mum, Lewis, and Patti for lunch -dropped them off and went out to help Mike.  Too much socialization for me in one day -- I'll be sleeping in tomorrow - I don't think i'll be visiting anyone, anywhere - just to much today.  I love everyone dearly - but I need some alone time so I can be in the moment I'm with!

Things to Do

7:27 AM - I slept in this morning.  It was great.  Looks like another crisp, cold, but bright day.  I gotta find those trash bags, feed the ducks, clear the snow drifts (the wind blows here constantly -- it would be a good place for one of those wind turbines) and take a closer look at the garage door opener.  So, planning complete I'm off to an interesting day.

8:50 AM - I got a note from Jacque and found out where the trash bags were hiding.  I'd never have thought to look in a drawer for trash bags - go figure!  sure keeps em neat and organized though.  got instructions on trash day.  That's a good thing.  Sun is bright this morning ( I just noticed i don't use articles a lot - a, an, and the -- waste of keystrokes).  Dinner with Mikee tonight, I'm looking forward to that.  Hope to get a picture of the day but we still can't find the digital camera at mom's house and I didn't bring mine.  Glitches make life interesting.

10:10 AM - Just finished feeding the ducks, clearing the snow drifts and freezing my tail off - I looked there ain't no tail.  Funny I thought I dressed plenty warm this morning.  The duck hut was full of snow - so had to get down on my knees to clean it out.  I think I'll have to find some fresh wood chips.   I gotta get me one of those knit hoodies that covers everything but your eyes and a pair of wool socks.  That oughta look cool!  I don't know if I ate breakfast yet!

It is what it is!

8:30 PM - A quiet day, A beautiful day - the sun shone all day long.  The snow barely melted at all and the wind blew hard enough to fill in the drive at the top of the hill.  I blasted through it this morning - and then again when I came home in the early evening.  I'd best clear the way tomorrow.  I do not want to get stuck. 

Mom and I went to Tama today - the casino -- won some, lost some, lost more than I won - so, a net loss but we had fun and some good food.

Today was laundry day for me.  there's something therapeutic about  folding clothes fresh out of the dryer - soft, warm - very nice.  Carolyn and I had a nice long video telephone conversation this evening.  She is the absolute best and beautiful - body, heart, and soul. 

I'll be eating at brother Mike's tomorrow night - looking forward to it.  Need to make sure i call Lana and Patti.  I'm looking to the next 86400 moments, but best get back to the one I'm in.  Be yourself - trying to be anything or anyone else just creates stress!  

Froze Toes

8:30 AM - it has been a long day already - up at 5AM - watching the pastel skies waiting for the bright sun to shoe itself. We didn't get a lot of snow yesterday - but the wind was blowing and Jacque's drive drifted to impassable.  This morning I enjoyed the "crispy cold", got out the front end loader and cleared the path - gosh that is fun.  I bougrht a tripod for my video camera so I can take a picture next time.  There is no haze this morning, so the so you can actually see and feel the sun but the wind still puts a chill on the face.  The boots I have are more than 40 years old -- I think I need new ones with wool socks  -- nice to be inside with a hot cup of coffee.  Have a great day!

3:30 PM -- wow, I just noticed I have 2, count'em   2 official followers.  I don't think I'll get a big head.  Spent the day with Mum and Lewis - well, a few hours anyway.  The weather is very strange - the sun tries to peak through, but just can't crack the haze.  The wind is blowing and the snow is drifting again.  I have not seen the mallards all day so I'm going to venture out and check on them -- in a little bit.  Mum and I are going to head to Tama in the morning - play a few slots -- it was something she really enjoyed doing with dad.  I've been purely relaxing.  I brought some stuff to do - the stuff ain't done - well, I did get the Fitz Men's Club minutes out - but have one more thing to do for that.  For now, I'm headed south about 100 yards - I'll see how the mallards are.  If I don't get back, I'm probably stuck in a snow drift!  My toes aren't cold anymore.  I'm back the ducks are fine and my toes are still warm.  Life is good!

Valentine's Day and Heather's Birthday Celebration

7:01 AM -- there is a picture I could post, but I think it would just be TMI.  Since it is a special day, I think I'll add some Baileys to my coffee this morning.  The snow is really coming down now - I'll have to dig out - yeah!  Ohhhh that's good!  Went out to supper with Lana, Jack, Mike, and Doris last night - Mexican restaurant in  Grinnell.  Mum just called - we recommended I stay in today - given the weather.  I do need to trudge down and feed the Mallards again.  Gosh this coffee is good!  I'll think about posting that picture.

7:22 AM -- Been watching the ducks down by the open part of the pond. Why do they stand on 1 leg? Is it so only one foot gets cold?  I never noticed them switch legs.  they look twice the size as normal - to keep warm they must have their feathers all poofed up.

10:59 AM -- just got back from feeding the Mallards.  All of life is a lesson.  Never walk where you are unfamiliar with the terrain and the ground is covered with snow.  You can end up to your belly button in a drift.  Furthermore it ain't exactly easy to get yourself extricated -- but it is worth a few laughs.  Anyway, job done and the duck's are quacking merrily!

4:43 PM -- Everyone is home (in Colorado) from the surprise party they had for our eldest (now 40).  All had a good time.  They said there were 50 people there.  That is great.  Carolyn took all the grandkids home - she loves to have the grandkids over and while I'm here in Iowa, she can have them over all she wants - it is great for her!  I guess I'll post a picture of Heather - since they are celebrating her birthday today.

Meandering

7:39 AM - I've been up since 5:30 AM - but... well working on other things. I figured out how to get the pictures downloaded from my video camera. This is a view from the picture window at HoJac Ranch. The open water on the pond is created by a circulation pump. But the pond is about 90% frozen. The pet Mallards swim on the open water. It is easy to tell (I forgot when to use its vs. it's - I know it has something to do with possessive and non-possessive - but who cares when your reading - Mrs. Scherer would have) -- there has been lots of snow. (DW knew - I hope I use it correctly in the future)

1:55 PM - Mum and I had dinner today. There is nothing better than food that has been prepared by a mom or a spouse - I think it is the passion and love they put into the preparation. It's just (used correctly) special. I got the closet door repaired and a light bulb changed. We then went shopping in Grinell. The most important item we were after (Chili Ready Tomatoes - marketed by Walmart) they didn't have at Walmart. But, we got most of what was needed. The roads were much better than expected. It has been a great day - so far!

Bitter/Sweet

Bitter -- the Iowa cold in the early morning

Sweet -- Getting to use a front end loader to clear the drive so I could get out -- I'm taking pictures tomorrow

Bitter -- Driving to town (from Jacque's to Montezuma) I noted than Sandie's Soda shop is closed! No more original fountain drinks -- they are redoing the interior and putting in a Mexican restaurant???? In Montezuma??? Hmmmm

Sweet -- got to see the brand spanking new County Safety Center -- replacing the current retention facility that opened in 1913. got the grand tour from Sheriff Tom and sister Lana. Deputy Sheriff Laurence was there too. Awesome - place complete with geothermal heating - wow. They are in the process of moving in. this place is an ultra-modern facility with all the gizmos and gadgets that you can imagine.

Bitter -- forgetting my daughter's birthday yesterday (I have an excuse, but it ain't a good one)

Sweet -- she is, without a doubt, one of the happiest people in the whole wide world and I will be forgiven! I just sent her an eCard.

Bitter -- Almost couldn't get out of the garage this morning. Jacque warned me the opener got stuck from time to time -- I did make it though.

Sweet -- I found the problem and fixed it!!!!! I just hope it stays fixed.

Bitter -- It makes a mess when you overfill the humidifier.

Sweet -- Its water - and it cleans up easily -- plus you've learned a valuable lesson.

Bitter -- Iowa is a Pepsi state!!!!!

Sweet -- You get to see more stores and have an adventure looking for your Cherry Zero Coke!

Bitter -- Beef Rites can't replace Maid Rites

Sweet -- They have a Maid Rite in Oskaloosa - guess where I'll be going! and, I can visit Sharon and Danny too!

Very Sweet ! Oh my gosh, I have an official follower! (As I say, happily chuckling to myself!)

Life is sooooooo good. Enjoy each and every moment you have!

Way Before Sunrise

5:19 AM - Up and at'em. I've got 5 plus hours before I get to my final destination. I dreamed in mini vignettes last night. Weird top secret stuff - boy those days were long, long ago. I love the internet. I was able to talk to and see last night via internet video conference with "Messenger". That is so cool - I also got to see a confused Katie (one of our Westies). Well -- I'm outa here and on the way! Later - by the way, be kind to yourself -- life's too short to be anything else!

1:58 PM - I've arrived at my destination - Montezuma, Iowa. It was a nice drive, no snowing, but lots of snow in Eastern Nebraska and most of Iowa. I'm, at the moment, enjoying the solid and the scenery.

Sunrise, Sunset

7:31 AM - There is nothing more beautiful than sunrises and sunsets - well, except for my wife. It is an awesome thing to watch in the morning. I think, as a retiree, I take more time to enjoy those things in life. That is what strikes me this morning as I sip a cup of hot chocolate. This picture was taken in Canada. Carolyn and I were headed for the airport in Thunder Bay. We had left Press Lake very early. We are looking back to the East.

12:06 PM - Had first meeting as the secretary of the Fitzsimons Men's Club. Only lasted 1 hour, that is good. I'm almost packed for my journey, thinking of last items that I do not want to forget. It is a beautiful day --45 degrees, sunshine, no wind - getting some great snow melt. I got the oil changed and tires rotated on the pickup -- safety measure for Carolyn while I'm gone. Living large and loving every moment!

8:36 PM Made it to Grand Island, Nebraska. Spending the night - don't want to push the driving. They got a lot of snow here --- a lot! It is cold, but bearable. Catch you all on the sunny side of day!

A New Day

9:35 AM - Finishing taxes - listening to relaxing, calming music. It helps when do something that isn't necessarily pleasant. But, I think I prepared myself for it pretty well this year - despite it being one of the most complicated tax years I've had.

10:25 AM - Taxes filed! Wahoo!

3:15 PM - If you have ever watched an episode of the hoarder - you'd get rid of some stuff. Doesn't it seem like no matter how much you throw away or give away you still have "so much to throw away and give away" that it is almost impossible to believe. Well today I'm going through old papers. I've emptied 2 drawers of stuff. I'm on the right track -- and it feels so good!

8:07 PM - last of the day. we had a great supper at Mama Alvino's. got home my efile was rejected by the government. easy fix though, I got my birth date wrong. Had to be a typo - I can't believe I did that. i guess I just wanted to make myself younger. Today's moments were great.

I Truly Don't Know What a Blog Is

I guess I ought to look it up. I'm more (or less) using it as a journal that anybody can, but nobody does read. So, is it a waste of space? Or, maybe, it is a wonderfully cathartic discourse that someone might accidentally be amused by or have a life change experience from (which I seriously doubt). Talk about discourse. One great thing about dogs is their communication skills. You always know what they want - because they truly live in the moment and they tell you what they want - they also tell each other, in no uncertain terms. It is a wonderful thing. what is really wonderful is that they rarely snap at each other, but when they do, they mean it then they are the best of friends again.

Oh, by the way -- http://www.problogger.net/archives/2005/02/05/what-is-a-blog/ . I guess what I'm doing is truly a blog -- so cool! Now, I know there is a prettier way to show this link - but I don't know coding like my daughter Kindle does. There are some cheats available, but I couldn't understand that either. (still snowing by the way).

6PM Mtn update. It has been a very relaxing day - The dogs have played in the snow half a dozen times, which means cleaning the up half a dozen times. Carolyn and I watched the episode of "Undercover Boss" - loved it. Getting ready for a trip.

Enjoying th evening...

So, today, differently than other days, I started a post this morning. Made a couple of entries throughout the day and will post this evening before hitting the hay. Now, I think I can post now and come back later (if I remember) and edit the post.

By the way I've said nothing about the picture. It is a commemorative of the AFTAC Alumni Conference held in Colorado in 2007. The local Alumni hosted the event and designed the commemorative.

I Missed Yesterday

My only excuse has to be that I was so in the moment that I forgot to do my blog. Well, there you go. Being in the moment can be pure bliss. And what the heck - one should not punish themselves for such a trivial matter - so I'm not.

but you are likely to get an extra input today! Go figure. Enjoy the Super Bowl, or the Super Bowl Commercials - or not - it is your choice, no one else's.

Have a great day!

When we Were Younger

Me and my bride. She turned 63 today - she seems far less and still enchants me each and every day. Love does that - keeps young, keeps us alive, keeps us engaged. We celebrated by going to one of our favorite restaurants and had a few glasses of wine and some good Italian food.

We are spending a wonderfully relaxing evening at home. The dogs are even giving us a break - somehow they sense we need this time for each other.

I've got no flashes of brilliance this evening - well I rarely have flashes of brilliance - if ever. I'm a plain ordinary being with plain ordinary needs. I think, except to keep occupied during my waking hours. I've become a bit addicted to the computer - even this is evidence of that. It would be an interesting experiment to go cold turkey. But then I couldn't keep some of my on-line commitments - or, maybe I could stop using it except for the "necessary" things that need to be done.

Man have I drifted off subject. Ah well, proves things are normal. But aren't we a great looking couple! Have an excellent tomorrow, but make sure you enjoy the moments that come before then -- try and wrap your brain around that concept for awhile!

Discovery

There is a worth to each moment and each and every life - whether it be a blade of grass, a small child, a person of much talent or a person of very little talent. We must respect that and recognize the gifts of everyone and everything. Those gifts sometimes require sacrifice - sacrifice of self or belongings or time - so that others can be served. I have no idea what this all means for me, but it does mean that as I become aware on a deeper level, I become more me.

On a lighter thought - my eggs were a disaster this morning. Often it is not so much the equipment as the user of the equipment - but in this case, I think I do need a little better equipment - say a 10" sauce pan instead of an 8" saucepan - one that has a lid (that fits). So, I'll be getting one of those and practicing eggs again in the next couple of days -- so I can be prepared to cook up some good eggs in Canada this year.

The dogs have been great. Buddha loves playing with a ball and loves his new bed. Katie was jealous, but got over it quickly. It is funny about the dogs and squeaky toys - it doesn't take them long to find and dispose of the squeaker - especially ion tennis balls. But Buddha keeps mouthing his anyway - and then comes and begs to play - which I usually do - but not always.

Tomorrow is NSA day - I look forward to it. Carolyn has had an extremely busy day. She is such a trouper - and more, she is an explorer - a willingness to discover - even in the realm of the extraordinary!

Pick a Word, Any Word

Yup, pick a word, any word - if you say it a few times it becomes pretty meaningless. How did we take such a beautiful language and screw it up so much. I love words, word puzzles, Scrabble, Boggle, Upwords, crosswords, wordfinds, word search - you name it. But how did we get to the place were train is a noun and train is a verb. Or two, too, to, and tutu and 2? There seems to be a gazillion examples - there and their -- so many words to say so little.

Ah well - we are where we are... Played golf today - didn't do as well as yesterday, but got to play. That's a good thing and has absolutely nothing to do with the current subject - so does that mean right now or is that the raisin thingy.

Live and love your moments - I do!

Letting Go - the Freedom to Be

What is alone? Is it a clear and empty place? Is it a clear an empty mind? Is it anything. Certain kinds of aloneness can hurt deeply. I think a person can be totally surrounded by things, people, ideas, thoughts and still be very alone.

I'm not sure if it is a result of trial and tribulation, ostrasization, disconnectedness, or even depression. It is hard to understand the impact of this aloneness - especially if it occurred very long ago - and you don't realize until you are in a new place that you were alone and it hurt - but you just couldn't face it at the time - but it lingered in you somehow, in some form - until it could be safely released - with no blame, no need to understand the cause - just to know that you are not alone, and that you are loved - a part of a universe that is both generous and alive.

Sometimes we are isolated and sometimes we isolate ourselves - is it better if it is by choice? I don't know the answers to any of these questions. I do know that when we are ready healing miracles can happen and happen completely without blame - just in the releasing of those things that have gripped us unconsciously for years - it isn't a looking back so much as it is a letting go and giving yourself the space and freedom to let go.

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I have a tee time for tomorrow - looking forward to playing at Fitz and it is so good to be more in the moment than I knew I could be.

On to February 2010

So - I tried a photo a day and a Haiku a day. Not the easiest thing to do. I think it is tough just to remember to journal every day -- in my case blog every day! Who knows, the kids may find this interesting some day. Well, every day isn't interesting, but every day is new - just as every moment of each day is new. It is a bit overwhelming, unless one just learns to relax and to be - so be and its very easy.

We did get to play golf today. The geese are redecorating golf courses - its like a goose poop sewer. We played Raccoon Creek, but I'm sure most of the golf courses that don't have a strategy to keep these flocks away are in the same situation. These geese can't possibly be endangered. I gotta tell you this can't be a sanitary situation. I do not over exaggerate when I say it was like walking on a carpet of the stuff. I've seen school play grounds the same way - so bad that the teachers can't let the kids play there during recess. It is atrocious.

Anyway, I played pretty well 41/49 - I even beat Mil. For me, that is an achievement - I hope to make that happen more often this year. And this was with frozen greens and poop covered fairways. (I guess it does make you more aware of hitting the golf ball first and not the ground.)

Our men's golf league at Fitz will be starting again - March something I think. We are having our first board meeting next Wednesday. Looking forward to a new year of fishing and golf - and finishing the xeriscape project in the backyard. Enjoy your moments!