Yah, It has been awhile!

I think my mom (like's to be called Mum - God only knows why), once told me that "unless you have something important to say, keep your mouth shut."  That along with "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all!"  Well, I just haven't had anything to say be it nice, important, or whatever.

For some reason I fell the need to write and I do have the right to write it if I so choose.

View Coming Down from Top of Hunter's Trail

Fall is in the air.  Carolyn and I took a couple of trips to Aspen.  We stay at a great place.  I hate to name the place because it may get so popular we won't be able to book it anymore - or am I just dreaming.When we wer last there the Aspen were just starting to change.  We had a beautiful hike up (and down) Hunter's Trail.  I should have worn better shoes.  On the way back we stopped at a bridge over looking th roaring fork.  I wish I had my fishing pole.  There, just below me in a quite pool was a beautiful trout.  It would have been fun to catch and release.

I think I'm going to sell my pickup.  Carolyn and I are thinking of downsizing to one vehicle.  It will likely be an SUV that we can still use to tow the boat and still be very comfortable on long hauls.  We still drive to Canada, Iowa, and Missouri from time to time.  Brooke is a Mizzou Tiger now - so I imagine we'll drop by and see her when we had for Big Cedar.

We sat for Kindle an Drew the other night.  That baby Oscar has a healthy set of lungs - but, when he's mellow he is a "very mellow fellow".  He takes after his dad that way. I got to figure out how to get all my photos in OneDrive One Cloud or something.  I've got a couple in my phone Gallery that I would like to share in this post.  I'll figure that out sometime today - really! (Hey, I figured it out!)

 Carolyn and I have embarked on yet another adventure.  We are eating Paleo and loving cooking the new and varied recipies together.  This morning we had braised greens, cinamon broiled grapefruit, and English Bangers.  The grapefruit was awesome.  I learned a lesson on braising greens.  Things like Kale need to be started ahead of things like spinach.  We could also add more seasoning than we do.  But it is som much fun cooking with Carolyn.  Need I say more.  I don't think so!

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Soon to be Another Much More Talented Blogger Than I!

Mike and Vicki are visiting!  I would say "about time" but that wouldn't be nice! We are so glad they have been able to spend this time with us. 

Michael is a very observant guy.  He looked out our back window and saw a nesting dove.  I wondered why (we walked by the nest 100 times) we never noticed her or her eggs before.  Of course Vicky already knew that doves nest in the lowest branches of trees.  So, there you go. 

We visited much of the family this week - celebrated births, weddings, and family.  Life is good!

We also downed a few bottles of wine - a couple from a winery in Rapid City - Firehouse.  It was very, very good. And, probably, another bottle or two this evening.

I really don't have anything intelligent to say this evening - well I rarely do say anything intelligent, but I say it anyway.

Oscar and Bishop - welcome to our world.  Xavier, welcome to the family.  Michael and Vicky we are so very glad you came!  Love to all!

The Personal Challenge

From time to time I lose track of what I want out of life - my goals, my values-even my principles.  I think it is time to re-evaluate and gone on with quality and stop making excuses.  I'm about 18 lbs over weight, some would say 28lbs.  My golf game has gone south - I mean way south. 

Today at personal training I was reminded of these things.  How can WTF help me if I don't even know for sure what it is that I want.  so I need to do things that help me focus better on what it is I want.  (I know I waste a lot of time playing games - but, I do enjoy it - and, what is wrong with enjoying.)  The other day Carolyn challenged me to go fishing more often - there's no reason why I shouldn't!  I'm too lazy sometimes. 

So the "Personal Challenge" is to follow up on some of the suggestions that were made to me today by Wendfal.  Writing those things down adds significance - so, I will write them down.

• Work with Carolyn and coordinate a meal plan for the next 4 days.  Send the plan to Wendfal.
• Set up my Total Gym as soon as we have the exercise room back.  Set up regular work outs.
• Renew my goal to weigh 165 lbs.  That means losing 20 lbs.  That means eating correctly and exercising more.
• Get my golf game back to the high 80's, low 90's - that means playing more than once a week and/or practicing from time to time at Murphy Creek facility - it isn't that far.
• Go fishing at least once a week - early morning!  Get the boat ready the evening before.
• Go to Mirror Lake for a day or two - even if it means getting a personal tent.
• Enjoy our patio.
• Get the dead Aspens taken care of.
• Finish a budget that meets Carolyn's needs!
• Meditate at least once a day!
• Consider taking up yoga
• Stretch and roll out frequently

Some of these are not specific enough.  I know that and I know that I need to make them more specific.  I can do it!  I will do it!  It is done!

Wow... I've not written since Feb 12 What is with that? or in mondern internet lingo "WTF"?

Who knows - so today is a typical Monday - recycle day (every other week).  First thing this morning was taking out the recycle and the trash.  Recycle bins are much fuller than the trash bins.  That is a good thing..

Second thing was making sure the sprinklers are properly aligned.  I obviously have a bit of work to do there yet.  Then I ran a drip line to the Bird Bath - who knows if that'll keep water in the thing or not, but I thought it was at least worth a try.  Next go out and check the drip lines, they are running right now.Filling the bird bath worked too good - put a limiter in the line and all is well!  All drip lines are good.

So third thing (at least this morning) is gaming and a cup of coffee! To mix or not to mix that is the question here... a little Bailey's that is!  This morning, I'm opting for some Bailey's!  And a little BP! Also multi-tasking a bit - planning the day and waiting for breakfast!

Took a short break from gaming to put a sticker on the Calendar. Rainbow Heart... Nice!  Check email.  Deciding whether to go to personal training tomorrow or not.  Somewhere in here I also watched about 15 minutes of Dr. Jin.

Well, it is now 8:33 AM - guess I'd better get some work done, starting with book keeping! 9AM.

Interval training for 60 minutes.  Then downstairs to relax a bit before taking the truck in for an oil change! Documented on My Fitness Pal. And, of course, more gaming and a morning snack.

So it is about 12:15 - Oil change is done, all fluids and filters checked and A-OK.  I like Keller Automotive.  Now it is back home.  Fixed the weed sprayer, sprayed weeds. Now to relax with Dr. Jin and a bit more gaming and blogging.  (getting hungry too!)

Next day:  Well, I'm obviously still in a funk!  I didn't finish this post.  Well, that would be a typical day.  Hope you enjoyed yesterday, I did.  It certainly had its moments!

On Being Wistful!

Wistful, quite a word! I'm not even 100% sure what it means... maybe longing or thinking back fondly close.  Just for kicks I think I'll look it up in a hard cover Webster's (yes, they still exist)! Webster says it is "showing or expressing vague feelings."  Well, that describes where I'm at right now - my feelings are vague, almost unreachable, definitely not very describable.  Though that is exactly what I'm doing right now.

I found another one of Mom's sayings or poems scratched on a small piece of paper:
Some one loves me,
Guess who,
It is me.....
    Yvonne Fahlenkamp

Maybe she made that up, maybe she didn't - but I do know it is something that just came into her mind and she had to write it down.  I'm not sure she ever shared it with anyone.  I do know that she does sometimes share her poetry by reading it out loud.  She has done so at church circles and past family reunions.  

I've never been in a place that makes me feel so wistful!  It is organized clutter.  There is a real sense of pride and a sense that Mom took care to place everything in just the right place for just the right purpose.  Right down to the smallest of nick-knacks.  As for me, I tend to have disorganized clutter and every time I try to do something about it... well, nothing happens, it just stays disorganized.

Well, it is time to get busy again and that is just what I'm going to do! I'll finish this later.

About an hour has passed. So, this is later and I'm gonna finish this entry.  I've gone from being "wistful" to being "mildly irritated" so it is probably a good time.  For what you ask, to finish this blog entry of course!  Anyway, still a lot of day ahead of me and a ton of things to take care of.  The most important thing is that I'm making significant progress. Kinda like GE used to say... Progress Is Our Most Important Product... or something of that nature.  Have a great day, enjoy your moments!

The Book of Mom - Maybe?

Just a Few of The Many nick-Knacks!

I'm planning my day.  I ran across my mother's poetry the other day whilst cleaning the house.  I've made a copy and of course returned the originals to their proper place.  I found some beautiful and pretty self-revealing poems.  I'll figure out a way to share with her children and grandchildren at some point.  Maybe in something called "The Book of Mom". 

I'm going to start cleaning the basement today - lots of dead bugs to vacuum up!  I'll also see what cleaning supplies are needed and take care of that.  I've started dusting upstairs -very carefully because there are literally hundreds of nick-Knacks! As I do this I visualize the happiness that was in the house and that I can still feel.  I wonder what joyous occasions and sad were held here.  I remember some of the Christmases in the basement - and Thanksgiving Dinners that mom and dad hosted while they were still able.

I remember the laughter, the tears, the conversation of mom and dad's children, spouses, and grand children! 

Dad Liked Taking the Pictures!!

I also think a wee bit about the things that we struggled through as family - a night I flew here from Colorado to help with brother Lew and the trip to the hospital the morning after.   I remember being here with Chad and Wendfal and our grand daughter Autumn and grandson Wolfgang.  I recall making a trip to one of Lew's holiday dinners with Carolyn, Jeremiah, Rosana and baby Kairi.  There was so much more - but these are the moments that come to mind this morning.

I do remember more the "Story House" - that is the last Montezuma house that I really lived in with the family - that's where we lived when LJ was born. The picture shows me and all my siblings except for sister Sharon.  LJ is the little clown in the lower left.  I think the dogs name was Tina Von Dockleheim or something like that!  I don't remember what Mom and Jacque-lee were discussing, but it must have been pretty interesting!

I'm sure today will bring lots and lots of memories and precious moments!  Make sure to enjoy your moments, each and every one of them!

Anonymous Comments - Hey, It Is Okay

I had a comment from a blog reader a few days ago, more like a question.  The individual asked "what inspires you to write?  How do you get started?"  The answer, for me, is quite simple.  I don't think about it.  There have been many times when I've said I'll do this every day.  That isn't going to happen and perhaps it shouldn't happen.  I think I write when something inside me says "you've got to get some thoughts down in black and white!"  So, I turn to this and write.  Carolyn journals every day.  They are her personal thoughts and whatever - I say whatever because she has and probably never will share those thoughts with me or anyone else.  I think for her it is a matter of making "meaning" of things in her life.  Interesting that I have never asked her about that.  Maybe I think it is or would be an invasion of her privacy.

For me - when I write- it is kind of a release.  It is an opportunity to let go of something that needs letting go of.  It is a matter of sharing my thoughts, feelings, emotions in such a way that maybe someone else - even perfect strangers - may note or gain something that triggers a growth or longing or sense of peace or inquisitiveness somewhere in the depths of their heart and mind. Perhaps that is a bit "ostentatious" or "grandiose" but it is what flows from my mind to my fingertips to the written page.

For some reason I've been thinking a lot about ancestry lately.  Jack helped that a bit as he has traced his family back to BC - yes, BC.  Well, I'm not quite sure that is the reason I've become interested again.  I think it is more that when I see the names and dates it takes my very vivid imagination back to scenes of those days and gives me a greater sense of who I am and what my family has contributed to the gift of "being alive" and to what makes me, me! 

I feel, rather think that I'm at a point in my life where being "secretive" and having "secrets" is kinda stupid!  It isn't that there is any secret that I have that would be a revelation to anyone else.  It is just that there are those thoughts and feelings and emotions that have for some reason or another remained untold.  I'm not sure whether it is to protect me or to protect someone else.  I have this obsession about closed doors, drawers, containers and such.  It drives me a bit nuts when someone leaves a door or drawer ajar.  Perhaps there is a relationship to that and holding things tight to one's self.  A form of protection.  If the drawer is open something will be revealed that shouldn't be revealed.  Or perhaps there is no relationship at all and  its just if there is a door and it isn't fully open, it should be tightly and fully shut.... that is just the way of things.  But, I do think that somewhere there is a correlation!

Ah well, today is not going to be "just another day".  It is a day where I will have adventures of the soul and the mind.  My thoughts will, perhaps, take my places I've never been before and stir things up that may or may not be totally pleasant - but will always be a way of healing and getting more of a sense of what life means to me and to those who are and have been a part of my life.  Not necessarily re-living moments and times, but making whole the moments that I share and learn from right now.

Carolyn - I miss you and plan to talk with you today! You are indeed, the light of my life!

Moments to Enjoy - a Visit With Mum

I read a book - studied really - entitled "the 36 Hour Day".  While the book is helpful in understanding how to deal with and care for a person with Alzheimer's and related Dementias, it can in know way relate what it is to really experience dealing with that care. More importantly it is difficult for anyone to put into words how one reacts to the varied situations that arise. Ggaod Bless Jack and Lana for what they have done and what they are doing.  I thank them so much for bringing Mum (that is what she likes to be called, though I still call her Mom) to visit with us and see her Colorado grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Mom is so "in the moment" of things - but the moments need to be constantly repeated.  At times there is clearly lucidity for extended periods of time... minutes even!  She and Carolyn - who I know is patient, but is even more patient than I thought, are putting together a puzzle.  The puzzle has 24 large pieces - and putting each piece in seems to take four or five minutes.  But it is getting put together.  The did one yesterday morning too...The results of that one shown below.  Pooh and his friends.  It is good to hear them laugh as they explore the different possibilities for each piece of the puzzle then give thumbs up for each successful try and a high five on completion.

It is interesting to see that there is a cycle to life and love of life and the joy that is found by "working so hard for it" as mom says.  You don't want to take the puzzle apart but you want to enjoy it for several days.  And then it is time to rest and relax.

Singing and exercising makes one laugh and be happy as well.  All of these things help keep the mind sharp - well as sharp as it can be anyway.  I do believe that mom being with Lana and Jack has really helped mom be healthier.  That means that mom will be with us in better mental and physical shape than she would be living alone.  There is no way that we can appreciate the sacrifices enough - but we can try!  Social interaction is a key component of that physical and mental well being!

Well, we are preparing for the Valentine creation party.  So much of the family will be over later to help out with that.  I - in the meantime - am enjoying writing and having a great Bloody Mary!

Moments are precious - friends and family are precious - never forget that.... give hugs and smiles freely- the life you have been given is yours to live to its fullest - so do that! Live all your moments and your life to the fullest!

Spring Cleaning - Yah, I Know it Isn't Spring Yet

Why do we do what we do - things like Spring cleaning?  It has almost become an institution, especially for Baby Boomers like me (I'm not sure anyone now even knows what a Boomer is)?  Well we have started this annual tradition - but we have started way early.  Perhaps because we have company coming.  That always seems to set the stage for setting the stage.  I think we naturally want to show our best.

My mom, 91 years young, is coming to visit.  Lana and Jack are bringing her out.  It will be an awesome treat as some of her great grandkids have never met her!  Her grandkids haven't visit her much either.  I think the last time we were together was a reunion that Jacque and Howard hosted in Montezuma Iowa. It was a Collins family reunion - that's mum's side of the family.

I was giving up hope that mum would ever get out here again.  It brings tears to my eyes that she is going to be able to make the trip and to meet her Colorado legacy - for that is what we truly are.  What does this have to do with spring cleaning? Well it is an occasion that has been triggered by new life and new generations.  We just had a new grandson (Bishop) born - we have another on the way and their great grandma Fahlenkamp is coming out and will be able to see them.

Don and Yvonne Fahlenkamp Family 2006 at Collins Family Reunion

It will be so nice to have Jack and Lana here.  Many of Carolyn's siblings have stayed at our home for various reasons.  Jacque and Howard have been here - but that's pretty much it for my side of the family so it is really a wonderful thing and I'm so looking forward to it for the kids, grandkids, and for Carolyn and I - so cleaning away and sprucing up!  And, most importantly enjoying every single moment of it!

On Being Fascinated

Fascination is an interesting thing.  I've been fascinated with water, fire, wind - all of nature and nature's many wonders.  I've also been continuously fascinated by Carolyn and our relationship - even how after 49 years knowing each other the fascination still abounds.  Kinda like this picture of her and the tree frog.  She asked me to take it!  I didn't know she liked frogs so much.  I like frogs - I have a collection of frogs (not live ones silly)!  Those collectible little bobble head frogs in all sorts of situations.  (I do like eating frog legs though - one of my favorite dishes! - sorry frogs!)

And skies - our skies have so many different looks and colors - their I can stare at the skies (both night skies and day skies) for hours, dreaming and wondering and being thrilled and saddened and, well, fascinated!

Taken by Lanny from Home

The skies over Colorado can produce awesome shapes and colors - right with many different varieties of clouds layered against a morning or evening sky.  They can be  utterly thrilling to look at in wonderment.  What struck about this particular formation was that Carolyn, even though we were miles apart parked the car and took pictures of the same sky with her camera phone.  Pretty neat!

Taken by Carolyn From a Parking lot

Photo by Carolyn from Parking Lot

These are just a few of things - so much more - babies, children, elderly folks (folks much older than I am), the rich, the not so rich, the poor, slot machines video games, arcades, mountains, fishing, golf - the human body! Oh my gosh, the human body.  Isn't it amazing how wonderful a creation the human body is?

Fascination is both mental and emotional, feeling and being triggered to action, to love, to laugh, to live!  Fascination - ain't it just great!  Be fascinate with life and all its moments!  Smile at folks - and you'll be fascinated what comes in return!

Another Beautiful Day

Delivered a rocking chair to the kids.  Carolyn and I stopped at Mama Alvino's.  We haven't been there for some time, but it was well worth the stop.  We both had calzones - Carolyn had a veggie and I had a Big Mamma (small one - but still big).  They were as good as we remembered.  We've been going there for over 30 years.  The gentleman that took our money remembered delivering pizzas to our house on Tucson street. 

The temperature has been in the high 50's today.  Xavier, Bishop, and Jeremiah are back home and happy to be there.  And we are so very happy that everyone is healthy and vibrant.  I'm grateful for that and much more...

We've enjoyed the day - and hope you have enjoyed yours as well.

Bishop Aries Marcell Fahlenkamp

Bishop

A new grandson born 10PM January 7, 2014.  We now have three grandsons and 7 grand daughters and one grandchild on the way!  I admit the initials are well, BAMF - but that kid will be tough and artistic.  We are proud and we are so happy that Xavier and Jeremiah are all fine - but tired.  He sent us pictures but I have not figured out how to download or upload easily from my phone yet. I wonder if this computer has Bluetooth?Anyhow, hopefully there will be pictures later!

Kairi, Bishop, Miah

I've added these pictures the following day.  I never did figure out blue tooth, but we did get  to the hospital and took some - downloading and uploading those I can do pretty quickly. WE are blessed to have all this love in our family  So now Kairi has another little brother! She appears to be enjoying that very much. Note that broad smile.  Kairi says that baby Bishop has her eyes.

Well, it is easy for me to say but I'll say it anyway - enjoy your moments, each one is very precious and once it is gone it can not be retrieved.  Count and be grateful for the many wonderful things you have to be grateful for.  Enjoy all there is to enjoy and the is a lot!

Family Matters

Carolyn and I are blessed to have so much family on both the Martinez and Fahlenkamp sides - not to mention some of the families of spouses and ex-spouses that are still very important in our lives.  Yesterday we enjoyed an after holiday Holiday Party.  There was family and neighbors.  We enjoyed the party, the laughter - the consolation and the news.  I especially enjoyed the chili and the time we had alone with our hosts (we were early arrivals!). I'm grateful for those things.

We were up early today and already have accomplished a lot for the day.  I continue to worry and fret a bit about Mum.  My son-in-law lost his mom this past week.  He is dealing with so much - he has a great wife to help him through all this - and he has others to call on when he needs or wants to all on them.

Carolyn and I are blessed to be healthy.  We work at it and it is so worth it to be so vital and vibrant and enjoying life as much as we do.  I do note that I tend to "not connect" with folks a lot - I often think it has something to do with the "fear of loss"!  Connecting can be a risk in that sense.  Maybe, just maybe, I need to take more risks and connect more with people.

I realize that I don't participate in what you would call "social sports" - like bowling- and perhaps that is the fear of connection and loss.  Golf is a sport, but not what I call a "social sport".  The lunches after golf with the Monday gang are social, but even there, I don't feel a part of the social set that is present.  Sometimes I feel I'm there because I fill out a foursome.

I think I'm a bit of a recluse!  Could it be?  I'll have to contemplate that - and a whole lot of other things!  Enjoy your family of families and all the moments you have - the good, the bad, and ..... well you know the rest!

My First 2014 Blog --- of course!

Well, it has been a very quiet day.  Carolyn and I crashed at about 00:15 - the kids, well, they crashed when they crashed.  The boys didn't get up until about 11AM, Kairi was up earlier and busied herself with the Galaxy tablet.  I played games and waited for breakfast time which really turned out to be lunch time.

I've made no resolutions, promises or commitments - makes things easier.  Carolyn has had a busy day - me I was mostly lazy - well not mostly - I was lazy! So - not much else to say - nothing else. Have a great year!